I Find Valentine’s Day Incredibly Overrated, And This Is Why

10 Reasons Not To Celebrate.

April 1, 2022

I don’t mind adopting American holidays. I like Halloween and Thanksgiving. But Valentine’s Day, please. This one is embarrassing. Yes, I get it, we have to choose a special day to celebrate. Like there is something wrong with all the other 364.

Listen, if you and your partner have a habit of celebrating Valentine’s Day, which makes you happy, good for you. Go for it. Nothing wrong with it.

But I personally find February 14 incredibly overrated, boring, and stupid.
Here Are My 10 Reasons NOT Yo Celebrate Valentine’s Day

PRESSURE
This is just another way to pressure the other poor person to do something nice and meaningful for you, and if he has the nerve not to do it, oh boy, we are so disappointed. I say he because usually, we women push it to the limit.

Buy me something.

Tell me that you love me.

Take me out for dinner.

You have to do something nice for me

I need to receive flowers

All these you have to, I need are nothing but useless pressure and unnecessary arguments on your relationship.

UNNECESSARY ARGUMENTS
Like I was saying … so imagine that the poor smack had a horrible day. He is tired or just not in the mood, and we all have that. But no! It’s fucking Valentine’s Day, so he has to move it.

JUST ANOTHER FORCED HOLIDAY
We already have so many other dates to celebrate and show our love. Anniversaries, Christmas, birthdays, unions, blah blah.

How about we celebrate today or any other day and live in the now?

SINGLE PEOPLE
It makes people that are not in a relationship feel like crap because, during that day, there is no one in their lives to share all that crap with. Most don’t care, but some negatively impact them, making them feel more lonely and insecure because of this stupid commercial holiday.

Basically, it’s an anti-single celebration, and if you are not in a relationship, you suck, and you will spend the day alone. Because there is no one to show you love and the other way around … please.
SPEND MONEY
You have to spend extra money, and I have to say most of the time, this silly pressure is on the guy’s shoulder because they have to show love to their better half. Otherwise, the message is they don’t love her or you are not enough.

THIS IS NOT LOVE
Speaking about love, Valentine’s Day is not about that. It’s about marketing, and marketing is sales. And sales make the business go around. Which is great, but not when we are exploiting feelings and emotions.

PINK & RED
I love pink and red, but for Valentine’s Day, it’s a time when seeing it all over makes my stomach cringe. It’s simply too much. Hearts are all over the place. Everything has been embossed or engraved with Kiss me, Love me, You are the one, I love You.

STUFFED ANIMALS
This one is the worst of it all.

Toys are called toys because they are designed for children, not adults.

Therefore, when you are a grown-ass woman, you giggle while receiving a huge monkey, a pink elephant, or a minion Jesus. You must have some childhood issues that you never fixed. I don’t even wanna mention the ones that have a collection of stuffed animals (or dolls) at home. Please grow up. Just replacing this collection with some dildos would make much more sense. lol

GLOBAL WASTE
A day of love and … plenty of garbage.

On Valentine’s Day, we give stuffed animals, cut flowers presents wrapped in plastic, balloons, and an infinite number of objects that will remain in our environment between 100-500 years.

IT’S REAL DARK ORIGINS.
I don’t really care about this part, but I did some research, and here is what I found.

Every February, the ancient Romans celebrated the feast of Lupercalia, a festival designed to purify the city and promote wellness and fertility. Like any proper spiritual purging in the ancient world, the festival called for the sacrifice of a goat and a dog, two animals celebrated for their strong sexual instinct.

During Lupercalia, the animal sacrifices would be skinned and their hides fashioned into whips. Young women would line up for the lashings because participating in the ritual would help them become more fruitful.

Bottom line, there is nothing unique or original about this consumerist holiday. Love is misinterpreted, people are forced to buy presents and book dinner, restaurants are crowded and fully booked, traffic is insane, garbage is piling up, single people are depressed.

There is too much candy, chocolate, cake, fake smiles, all-around love, red roses, hearts. Ugh. Ah, yes, and I heard couples saying they will also have sex that night because it’s a great context. No comment here …

And the stupidest thing is when other people just wish you, without reason, Happy Valentines Day over a text. Like male friends or exes. Come one now :)))

Why would I celebrate love on Valentine’s Day when love should be celebrated every day?

Sex – When Is The Right Time?

How Long Should We Wait?

April 1, 2022

There is nothing taboo on this topic anymore, and this is a subject that I have discussed so many times with my girlfriends and other women. But I never imaged myself writing about this at some point in my life. 

But hey, this blog is my responsibility now, and a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. So, when is the right time for sex? How long do we have to wait?

Classical scenario. We meet this guy, date him, like him, and are attracted to him, and whether we are 22, 35, or 41, there is the same question sitting on our lips When is the right time? How many dates should we wait before having sex?

And of course, there is the time when the guys put pressure on us from the first or second date, which I personally hate. I am not a saint, and it happened a few times. However, I am like, most of the time, please keep it down for a while; we’re not going to die tomorrow. Or, as a side joke – I was watching the movie Don’t Look Up last night, so maybe we will; therefore, why not make the best out of it? :))

Regardless of the movie (which made me have a drink after and watch two hours of standup to come back to reality), we women are more calculated, and we want to make things right. And deep down in our minds, we really think if we make the right move at the right time, this will show that we are not easy but eligible for a relationship. We also want to have a good time, but we might want more if we like the guy. 

So complicated with us and all the millions of wires that connect our female brains. I am so jealous that men only have 2-3 wires and things are so simple for them 

At the same time, who doesn’t like sex? Ok, allegedly some people don’t or at least don’t enjoy it that much. It’s hard for me to understand, but yeah, I assume sexual appetite is like a scale with different grades.

Every dating phase has a different rhythm or intensity for everyone. And it is also about how safe we feel, especially for us women. When I say safe I mean, comfortable to do it.

So what is the answer to the question, When is the right time to have sex for the first time with a guy we are dating?

Let’s be honest there. No recipe will make things right or wrong. If things are doomed, they will be anyway. If he just wants to have fun, he will still do it, and while he is waiting to score you, he can sleep with other women. Finally, you guys have sex, and of course, you might never see him after. Or perhaps you will occasionally meet just for sex, no other strings attached.

It’s a lottery. Guys would say anything to get you into bed, and like literally anything. I’m not blaming them, as biologically speaking, they are built to leave their semen and move on.

On that account, what do we do? There must be something. 

I read many articles where the 3 dates rule is mentioned, making me smile. It reminds me of one of my favorite tv shows – the one and only Sex and The City.

Personally, the average is about a month, even less. This means a couple of dates, so we start to get to know each other at least and see the level of attraction, figure how we feel about each other, what we have in common. 

Getting to the sexual part is also very important because this is an essential part of getting to know the other person. This is a way part of the intimacy is built.

When I was in my 20s and early 30s, I was more careless and went with the flow. In the last few years, I have been a little more patient, and I wanna see more about what I am dealing with and maybe also because my standards are higher 
My Best Honest Advice To You
Do what you feel. 100% Not what society teaches you what your parents think, what your friends might say and what strangers might judge.

If you wanna do it after the 1-2 date, go for it. If you want to wait, wait. Whatever makes you feel good about it, and there is no judging.

The rule is that there is no rule. Pure chance. I have friends who had sex at their first date and have been happily married for many years. And I know girls who made their men wait for long, and there was no outcome.

The best advice I can give you is to live the moment, enjoy spending time with other people, and do it with no regrets if you feel like doing it. 

What is your rule about having sex for the first time while dating?

7 Golden Rules To Follow In The Dating Game

Will Playing Games Bring Us The Relationship We Want?

April 1, 2022

Dating is one of the hardest things in the Universe. It’s beautiful, filled with expectations and high hopes. But bumpy, complicated, and frustrating at the same time.

Plus, we have entered a cultural and technological era that only makes things messier than they already were …

I also noticed that it’s not getting easier once you grow older and more mature. This is because ➝

1. Times are changing 
2. Our expectations change 
3. Our standards go higher … at least for some of us
4. We take less shit 

In your 20s, you don’t have the experience, and you think everything is all unicorns and butterflies. 

In your 30s, you think you know it all when you are actually still learning valuable lessons.

In your 40s, you reached maturity and established your standards, but then you wake up and realize the dating game is still … a game. 

My personal problem used to be that I was struggling with the curse of being vulnerable and authentic and speaking my mind. 

And many times, it turned out to be a problem while dating.

I am not talking about acting desperate and saying that all you want is a relationship and chase him, and I am totally not like that. But if a guy says that he might want a relationship and you say, yes, I am thinking about the same,” so often, it was GAME OVER. 

I keep hearing and reading – being honest and authentic is the new thing in 2022. Yeah, with yourself. But not while dating because this will not help you get the relationship you want. And it has been proven to me many, many, many times. 

I am against playing games, and it is a waste of time and energy. And it forces us to wear masks, and I hate it.

I agree with the chasing part and that we should keep things exciting and fun. But it looks like every man has a game. And in 2 decades of dating men from different races, colors, and religions, talking to some of my male friends, acquaintances, girlfriends, it seems like the below rules will help you play the game and … win. 
RULE NO #1 
NO RELATIONSHIP TALK IN THE FIRST FEW WEEKS OR MONTHS
Don’t we just want a guy to open up and say that he wants something serious and is looking for the real thing? Oh yes, we do. And if he does, let him talk. You keep your mouth shut and don’t say anything. You don’t tell him you want it to, and not even that you are thinking about it. Change the subject. Do not talk or say anything about wanting to be in a commitment. He will get scared and run away. 
RULE NO 2
DON’T ACT TOO SMART NOR CONFIDENT
When I read what I’m saying, I wanna laugh and cry simultaneously. Of course, not playing too smart does not mean playing dumb. 

The idea is not to have an answer to all the questions or show that you have everything figured out and you are so independent and secure. Men freak out in front of this, and they will think: if she has it all under control, what will my role be?
RULE NO #3
SEXUAL INTERCORSE 
As hot as he is or as horny as you are, please wait for at least a couple of dates. He doesn’t wanna wait for you, it’s his problem. But most of them will chase you. I am telling you to wait because it’s wiser to get to know him a little more plus, if you sleep with him too fast, men judge. Big time. 
RULE NO #4
AVAILABILITY 
Answering his text message right away – NO, please.

Be always available for dates or catch-ups – NO, please.

I am not saying ignore him or play extremely hard to get. These are turn-offs, and you will push him away. 

But in general, focus on your work, friends, and other social activities. 

If he doesn’t say anything, don’t wait for him to contact you, go with your plans, see your friends and follow your commitments. Business as usual.
RULE NO #5
BE NICE BUT … NOT THAT NICE
Men are complicated creatures. If you are too sweet, they might lose interest too fast. If you are a bitch they might run away. 

Based on your character and personality, you might get to his heart if you can find the formula to mix a little bit of everything. Yeah, I know, the efforts we have to put up with … damn  
RULE NO #6
DON’T INITIATE MUCH 
Yes, babes, I know now we have the power to do anything but let him be the man. And trust me, even when they say a woman is taking the first step is sexy, they are lying.

Later on in an established relationship, yes, you will take more initiative because commitment means hard work. But in the beginning, it is his job to conquer your heart. And men like to be the ones in charge and lead. Let them  
RULE NO #7 
RESPECT YOURSELF
If his game is to turn you in his FB or FWB, but he is actually playing the relationship card just to either get you into bed or keep you on as a side chick, well, think about what you want.

But I would say don’t let him play you. Move on. Because I know. Most of us what we really want is a committed relationship, not someone that labels us as someone good to have fun with when his d*** is up.

Like I am saying, I don’t like to play games. But I don’t have a choice as they all do. And if I don’t, they will play me. It’s ME or HIM :))

So, buckle up and enjoy the dating ride!

What is your game?

5 Things A Man Should Do Before The First Date

Here Are My Five Things A Guy Should Do Before And After A First Date.

April 1, 2022

I truly appreciate a man that knows how to take the lead and be a gentleman. Always and no matter the context. Unfortunately, we are experiencing very tough times regarding dating and relationships.
In my opinion, if the beginning sucks, well, what can you expect later on?
We say the first impression is crucial. It is. Of course, there are exceptions. But are lack of manners and initiative acceptable excuses? I don’t think so. Things are so simple, yet we make them complicated. Here Are My Five Things A Guy Should Do Before And After A First Date. #1 Communicate 
It doesn’t matter how you guys met – online, through mutual friends, at the gym, etc. Once you exchange numbers, you should engage in compelling conversation. This is the mental foreplay before the first date. And I expect a guy to start moving things. It’s a little bit of talking, exchanging some ideas, a little bit of flirting.
It is lovely to have some conversation and keep it going before you go on your first in-person date.#2 Initiate
Talking is great, but not forever. If step number one was successfully completed, LOL, it’s time to get out of the online zone and suggest a date. Face to face communication paired with body language would be so refreshing and personal instead of using those emojis over and over again #3 Choose A Location
It’s ok if you ask me out, but if you start with questions like oh, where should we go or what would you like to do” well, you are either lazy or not too creative. I can come up with some ideas, not the end of the world. But if you already have some places in your mind and share them with me asking for my opinion, I already love it. You can also make a choice. I don’t mind as long as it is a nice place. So guys, use your creativity imagination, and put in some work. #4 Pick Me Up And Take Me Back Home 
It would be nice to pick me up. I know women are independent nowadays and can drive or pay for an Uber to meet. But how nice would it be if you were capable of such a small yet meaningful gesture?And of course, take me back home as well 

#5 Don’t Insist On Asking Me To Go To Your Apartment 
Even after a first date, most guys will try their luck. And no blame here. Men are men. They will invite you just for one drink to their place  If you asked once and I said no, don’t ask twice. Most likely, the answer will be a no. And we get it you are men but chill, have some patience, don’t push it.  If you asked once and I said no, don’t ask twice. Most likely, the answer will be a no. And we get it you are men but chill, have some patience, don’t push it. The Last Guy That I Dated Did All Of The Above And 

1. I love it, and it shows that it is possible.
2. I was astonished that he was doing the right thing, like wow. Can you imagine how fucked up our generation is and how fucked up the times we live in? If a guy is doing the right things blows my mind.

A first date is not about money and the fancy, most luxurious restaurant.
It’s about effort, interest, and creativity. 
What are the five things a guy should do before and after a first date?