Best Talk In Town

Iris Chelarescu

Men and Women, A Continuous Misunderstanding

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Men and Women, A Continuous Misunderstanding

How can we make things better

June 1, 2022

I recently reached my 40s, have been through a lot, have plenty of experience in relationships, and understand both male and female psychology.

Nonetheless, this question doesn’t seem to stop bothering me – Men and Women, why is there always a continuous misunderstanding? Was it always such a disaster? And what went so wrong?

Everywhere I have been, lived, and traveled, all I have constantly seen is tomatoes thrown with hate from each side of the fence, and like it’s like an arena full of blood.

Women are blaming men, and men are blaming women. Everybody is unhappy. Well, correction. I have examples of happy couples around me, and one of them was my parents. But still, there is so much hate and criticism floating in the air. 

Women blame men for being cheaters, liars, and unreliable. Men blame women for acting cheap, being too flirty, and not marriage material anymore. And the list is so long and can go on and on.
Men Are Bitter. Women Are Miserable. 
It feels like a war zone, but in the end, no one ever wins.

A battleship that never seems to end. 

So much hate, lack of trust, and disappointment. It makes my heart cry. When we should love and cherish each other in the best possible way. 

We end up saying, I am better off alone. I agree entirely in the context of better be alone rather than in the wrong relationship or with the wrong partner’.

But this I would rather be alone has a new meaning nowadays and is scary. Men are saying all women are bitches and women, on the other hand all men are assholes.

I frequently talk to men and women, and all I hear is each side bashing the other and saying. You can’t find a decent guy or girl anymore. I will never trust anyone again.

The sad reality is that there is some truth in all these complaints. 

Firstly, society evolved to encourage you to be more individualistic. You don’t need someone to hold your hand, and you can just love and embrace yourself. WTF! Yeah, you should damn learn to accept yourself, love yourself, and know how to spend time alone as well. But you can’t hug yourself at night. Neither a career, money, or friends. We are built to be with someone and live as a couple. Period. 

Secondly, we become so damn sensitive and weak that once we are hit by romantic disappointment, we will end up grieving forever and ever. If we can take it when life hits us on other levels, why don’t we do it when heartbroken. A broken heart is meant to be fixed, and it takes time, true, but it is possible. 


Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.
Nothing further from the truth. And there will always be misunderstandings between us as we have very different ways of communicating and putting things into perspective.

The issue is that there is not just a lack of understanding we are talking about, and it’s so much hate.

So what is the solution? I doubt the answer is to whine and become like a wall. This is the right way to miss potential romantic opportunities and a fulfilled life. 

I have been heartbroken several times and deeply disappointed. Sometimes, I didn’t leave my bed, and I stayed in front of an open window, smoking and thinking or crying. It took me weeks to get back on track and feel better. But I never said that all men are the same or that I will never love again. What I dealt with does not define all males in the universe. I don’t even consider myself as being unlucky. I just got experience. 

Our world is yin and yang, and there will always be a dark, ugly side. But don’t let yourself be carried away by this. 


What Can We Do To Make Things Better

  • Be kinder with each other 
  • Listen first and judge later. Or don’t judge at all. Everyone has a past, a story, and a reason 
  • Have patience 
  • Be more loyal and faithful 
  • Communicate 
  • Don’t be just a taker. Be a giver as well
  • Compromise a little bit here and there
  • Show some flexibility 
  • Give it another chance. We all make mistakes 
  • Go to therapy – if needed. And no, there is no shame 
  • Work on yourself 

Call me unrealistic, a utopian dreamer, but I still believe in true honest love. I believe in being more gentle with each other, less judgemental, and more understanding. 

Love is the universal power, the glue that keeps us together, united, and in peace. 

What do you think men and women should do to have more meaningful relationships?

20 Best Gift Ideas For Him

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20 Best Gift Ideas For Him

After Years Of Headaches, I Finally Came Up With A Decent List.

April 25, 2022

I don’t know about you, but most of the time I had to choose a gift for a man whether he is a friend, colleague or partner – it was always a headache for me.

However, I got better with years and tried to be more creative, and here I am with a list of 20 best gift ideas only for him 😀

In fact, by doing a little research and putting in some effort and exploring, the situation is not that bad.

You can stay on a budget or go a little crazy. Depends on the relationship with the person, occasion, and how much you are willing to spend or how much you can afford.

Not to mention someone that has whatever he wants makes things even more complicated. But there is hope 🙂

Personally, I like to be super practical as I really don’t want my efforts to be in vain, plus who wants its gift to be regifted or never used?

Below is a list that it took me years to come up with. So here we go with 20 gift ideas for him.

  1. 3 In 1 Charging Stand

Wireless Charger 3 in 1, Wireless Charging Station for Samsung Galaxy

AED 149,39

2. Portable Power Station 
Crony Multi-function K300 Portable Power Station 11.1V 37Ah 300Wh With Jump Starter Battery AED 480

3. Cosmetics 
Shiseido Men’s Starter Kits AED 279

4. Multifunctional Heat Massager 
RENPHO Shiatsu Neck and Shoulder Back Massager with Heat AED 159.99

5. Personalised Airpods Case 
Personalized AirPod Cover – Chocolate Brown AED 50 

6. Brewing Coffee Bottle 
Hario Brewing Coffee Bottle, 700 ml, Mocha AED 171 

7. Shaving Machine 
Philips One Blade Pro, 3 tools in 1 AED 483.72

8. Coffee Machine 

NESPRESSO Inissia C40 Red Coffee Machine

AED 399

9. Accessories 
Embossed finished bracelet AED 1,380

10. Parfume 
Versace Dylan Blue AED 555

11. Toiletry Bag 
Dopp Kit AED 209 

12. Wallet 
Leather Wallet Hide & Seek AED 339

13. Home Barbecue  Station
WEBER Original Kettle E-4710 Charcoal Grill – 47 cm AED 899

14. Gym Bag 
PUMA Fundamentals Sports Duffel Bag AED 79

15. Sportswear 
Adidas Men’s Sportswear Primeblue Track Jacket AED 256

16. Speaker
JBL Pulse 4 Portable Bluetooth Speaker AED 700

17. Cufflinks 
Slim Skeleton Gear Round Cufflinks in Matte Metal AED 1,200

18. Bathrobe 
Embroidered Polo Robe AED 462

19. Bowtie Set 

TIE G 5pcs Tie Set in Gift BOX WHITE OR BLACK: Solid Color Necktie, Satin Bow Tie, Pocket Square, Lapel, Cuff Links

AED 118

20. Sunglasses 

Ray Ban Square Sunglasses in Metal

AED 725

BONUS TIP 

  1. To make it easier, if you feel like your gift is not consistent enough, pair it with a bottle of whatever he prefers to drink. (FYI – not all guys drink champagne). You can also add a customized cake.
  2. Worst-case scenario, if you don’t know the guy well enough, just get a bottle of liquor, a cake, and a card with some genuine wishes. It will do the job.

What do you think are the best gift ideas for men?

Top 5 Things To go In Dubai On A 24 Hours Layover

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Top 5 Things To go In Dubai On A 24 Hours Layover

Check Out #Mydubai Top 5 Must See.

April 25, 2022

The city of Dubai is strategically located at a junction between Europe, Africa, and Asia.
Often, when traveling from one continent to another, you have a long layover in Dubai. And since our city is one of the most iconic metropolises in the world, it would be such a pity not to take advantage of visiting some of its main attractions even if you only have a couple of hours to allocate.

I agree a few hours might seem not enough, and the truth is that they are not. However, it is possible to mark some of the main tourist attractions, which is why I am here. To help and guide you through your 24 hours layover (or less) in the best city in the Middle East: Dubai, also known for its shortcut DXB.

I visited Dubai for the first time in 2013. I came from an extended Asia trip, and I stayed a few days in Abu Dhabi for a salsa festival. One of my friends took me and Franco (my boss) on a half-day trip to Dubai. It was love at first sight, and that was the first time it crossed my mind that I could live in #mydubai.

We didn’t have much time, maybe around 6 hours. However, we managed to visit a few hot spots, do some shopping and have a delicious Asian lunch.
For More Inspiration, I Will Start With The 5 Things I Was Lucky To See In
Half-Day, And Scrolling More, You Can Find The Recommendations I Have For You.
#1 Palm Jumeirah
The first stop was on the iconic Palm. We drove to the end close to Atlantis for a short walk and obviously some quick shots.

#2 Souk Madinat 
On the way to Dubai Downtown, our next stop was at Souk Madinat, close to Burj Al Arab. Therefore for amazing pictures, let’s say you catch two rabbits at once. There we roamed around the Arabic galleries, bought some (overpriced) souvenirs, and had a lovely Asian lunch at the Noodle House. 

#3 Downtown Palace 
Shortly after, we reached Dubai Downtown, which is the city’s business district, and because most hotels in Dubai are so luxurious and look fantastic, we just dropped by the Palace Downtownfor a little bit. And it was all worth it. 

#4 Dubai Mall 
We had a bit of time for some quick shopping (well, I had some time shopping while I was dragging 3 guys after me that were nice enough to have the patience and wait for me :D) and we saw the mall’s famous aquarium. 

5# Burj Khalifa 
Our last stop was, of course, at the tallest building in the world, which is conveniently located right next to Dubai Mall. There was no time to go inside, plus at that time, I had no idea about the Atmosphere Loungeand that we could actually go up to the 123rd floor. However, I felt lucky to take some cool pictures outside Souk al Bahar and the Fountains area. 

The above was my experience, and I was grateful as traveling was (still is) in my blood. Now, if I look back, I am even more thankful as it opened my appetite to relocate and to dream that I could live in such a beautiful place. 
Hotel 
If you happen to have to travel to another country and have a 24 h layover, I warmly recommend choosing a hotel in Dubai Downtown or Business Bay are.

Don’t choose accommodation in Deira or Bur Dubai just because they are slightly cheaper and you will be closer to the airport. The areas are safe, but it’s not that nice, and they are part of the old city. 

All hotels in Dubai have high standards, and they offer good services. For one night stay, of course, it depending on your budget, you can find decent places in a good area starting  from 100 USD/night.
Taxi 
A lot of tourists are concerned about transportation. Don’t be. You will find taxis on every corner. 

When you get out of the airport, you have two options:

  1. Hala Taxi starts from AED 25, and there is a long line, so there is plenty to find. From the airport to Downtown / Business Bay, it will take you around 20 minutes, and you will pay around AED 60 for the trip. On the way back to the airport, you will pay less as the journey starts from AED 5 or 12 dirhams.
  2. Lexus. I am not sure how much it is, but usually, it is 30-50% more than what you would pay for Hala Taxi. So I recommend the first option.

5 Things You Can Cover On A 24 H Layover 
It will be difficult to draw a step-by-step itinerary because it depends on where your hotel is located, the exact time you will have, and your preference.

However, below are 5 top attractions that I warmly recommend, and with moving from one place to another (and depending on the traffic), you should be done in 8-10 hours.
>#1 Burj Khalifa – 1.5 Hours 
The best is to go up to floor 123, where the Atmosphere Lounge is located. Have a drink, take some nice pictures, and of course, take some shots from outside the building.

#2 The Fountains & Dinner With A View 1.5 Hours 
The Dubai fountains show runs every day from 6-11 pm every 30 minutes. If you want and time allows, you can watch it from a more personal environment and combine it with dinner. Some of the restaurants in Dubai Mall have a terrace with a direct view of the fountains. I recommend Babel as the menu is Arabic and enhances the middle eastern experience. Plus, it’s a great restaurant offering excellent services.

#3 Souk Madinat & Burj Al Arab 1 Hour 
If you manage to Souk Madinat on your list, you will see that Burj Al Arab is super close by, so just like me, you can take advantage and take some pictures with the only 7****** star hotel in the world.
Otherwise, you can take a walk through their enchanting Arabic galleries filled with souvenirs. Furthermore, they have plenty of lovely restaurants, pubs and coffee shops.

#4 Dubai Mall – 2 Hours 
It must be everyone’s dream to shop till they drop into the world’s largest mall. By the way, everyone is getting lost in Dubai Mall. Locals, tourists, residents 😀 so don’t panic, take around 2 hours there. You can also use the buggy service, which will save you some precious time – for about 20 DHS.
Yes, you heard well, Dubai Mall is so big that it has its own internal taxi operating.

#5 Palm Jumeirah – 2 Hours 
First, go up to the end close to Atlantis where you can take a nice walk and very nice pictures with Atlantis Hotel and Marina and JBR skyline.
On your way, you can stop for a quick coffee in Fairmont Hotel and have a coffee at one of their terraces or at Five Hotel. Both have a lovely view of the same skyline, Marina and JBR.

The above schedule is packed and slightly overwhelming. If you have around 8 hours, I think you can make it, but you might be on the run. However, if you don’t plan to come back to Dubai anytime soon, give it your best shot.

If you have additional questions, don’t hesitate to drop me a comment. I would love to help.

How To Set Up A New Moon Ceremony

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How To Set Up A New Moon Ceremony

A portal to the Universe

April 20, 2022

Probably you are thinking: another moon, another ceremony, another ritual. I mean, we are talking about vision boards, therapy, visualization, meditation, mindfulness, and motivational cards. It seems exhausting and looks like it takes quite a lot of time. 

I am proposing this small ceremony because it takes 1 hour of your time every month. You don’t even need to do it every 30 days. I don’t. Perhaps a few times a year. And I love it. It’s not time-consuming, and it’s that me-time surrounded with loads of positive energy that I truly appreciate and enjoy. 


WHY I RECOMMEND IT

  • The new moon marks the beginning of a new lunar cycle and often brings an array of new beginnings
  • The new moon has fresh energy 
  • It’s like a portal to the Universe 
  • You can create new habits and set new intentions 
  • Start new projects 
  • Spend quality time with yourself
  • It gives you positive energy and peace of mind 
  • Spend that time self-reflecting on what happened in the last few months and how you want to see the near future 

HOW YOU DO IT
The rule is that there are not so many rules, and what you will create will be based on a few guidelines, but this will be your personalized ritual. 


YOUR TOOLS


#1 PEN & PAPER

#2 SAGE 

#3 NICE BACKGROUND MUSIC 

#4 CANDLES

#4 CRYSTALS (optional)

#5 MOTIVATIONAL CARDS (optional)

#6 VISION BOARD (optional)


MY NEW MOON CEREMONY RITUAL 


First and foremost, any distraction element is being eliminated for 1 hour. So the mobiles are off. 

I play some light healing music in the background and light a few candles.

I use a bit of sage around the house, saying Holy Father a few times. 

After this, I will sit down at my desk and write (HANDWRITE) on a piece of paper my intentions/goals/desires – whatever you wanna call it. There is no limit here. If you want to write ten pages, do it. I usually recommend 1-3, but this is entirely up to you.

Once I am done writing, I read 1-2 times what I wrote and imagine that those intentions are already manifested. 

I end the session with around 20 min of non-guided visualization.

Et voila. It’s all done in 1 hour or less.  

If you want the short version of the above, you can light a candle and sit down and write your intentions. 

I want to encourage you to do this monthly exercise because every 30 days, the moon delivers us an extra boost of intention-setting energy. 

It would be a pity not to give it a try. At least a few times a year.

Did all the intentions I wrote down manifest? Some yes. Some no. But it would help if you start by thinking about this. Just go with the flow and enjoy the process.

I heard some theta healers or therapists tell me in private that they don’t see the point of these ceremonies, but they teach people how to do it for a fee to make money.

Well, I might not be the most organized person, and many times when there is a new moon, I might not be at home or have other things to do. But personally, what I preach is what I do and believe in. 100%.

Enjoy the next new moon, and if you need more guidance, drop me a comment. 

Also, this year I will start organizing a New Moon Ceremony in Dubai. Stay tuned!

10 Ingredients That Make A Friendship Valuable

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10 Ingredients That Make A Friendship Valuable

Girlfriend expectations

April 13, 2022

Every girl wants a best friend. I remember this used to be my obsession when I was little. Having a best friend was the ultimate accomplishment and the best thing that ever happened.

Growing up, the definition of “best friend” matured into having great quality people around me. Both male and female. And of course, with time, my standards became higher not only with partners but also with the girls who are part of my circle.

We think romantic partnerships with men are complicated and require hard work.

I was thinking and laughing these days on how dramatic and emotional the relationships between women can be :))


Let’s face it. The dynamic between a girl’s friendship sometimes is crazy insane.

We shouldn’t change who we are as a core to please someone else. And this is applicable in a partnership with a man or a friendship relationship with a woman.
But there has to be flexibility, understanding, and patience. And more!

Also, a relationship should be give-and-taken. Some give more, and some give less. But in the end, it is all reduced to the things we have in common and how we can support each other to make our lives easier and more beautiful while building a chain of unforgettable memories.
Below Are My Nine Traits That I See Vital For A Relationship To Survive With Time
#1 RESPECT
Respect is, or at least it should be, the foundation of any relationship. If we expect a man to treat us with respect, we should treat a girlfriend in the same way. If this part is missing, it’s like a crack in a glass, and I don’t see much left here.

#2 FUN
Friendships should be easy-going, cool, and fun. Having a good sense of humor and taking things easier rather than being constipated makes things headache-free. I know a relationship needs depth and profundity, but we only live once and should have it balanced. Let’s enjoy life without making it more complicated than it already is.

On the other hand, many people can be easy fun to hang out with. But to find cool but reliable people, this is another story. For me, it’s very simple. If you are just there for a party, no problem, we can hang out once in a while. But I will never put you in the friendship category.

#3 HONESTY
For the love of God, just tell me anything! Truth bothers anyone, including me. I might get pissed for 5 minutes, 1 hour, or three days but I will deal with it differently rather than you lying to me because lying has no excuse. So tell me anything, we will talk, find a solution if necessary and move on. And guess what, our friendship will stay.

#4 EMPATHY
It’s nice to know you can count on someone when upset, sad, or heartbroken. Plus, there is always the usual drama around work, other friends, other people that we know, and things constantly happening to us. Therefore having someone around to listen and give us advice over a glass of wine is always so comforting.

#5 SUPPORT
Be genuinely happy for my achievements and my success. Be supportive when I fail or make mistakes.
A real friend is there to take you out of trouble at 3 am on a Saturday. Luckily I always had friends like this, and I can say I am the same for them.

#6 ACCEPTANCE
You don’t have to agree with everything I say or do. And the other way round. Take me as I am. Yes, there might be some things that you don’t like, and if you tell me what – as in communicating those things with me – I will do my best to work on it.
Example: I tend to make fun of my friends. Usually, it is fun, but sometimes I don’t know where to stop, and I continue making the same stupid jokes on a specific subject. More than one friend drew my attention to that this is crazy annoying at some point, and I should stop. And I did.

#7 REALISTIC
A good friend has the right to “slap” you once in a while if you are losing it. Sometimes, it happens to me, and I wouldn’t say I like it. But I appreciate it. As I always see things from my very personal perspective, the truth is that I might be wrong. So a friendly shake once in a while is more than welcome.

#8 UPS and DOWNS
A healthy relationship has ups and downs, and sometimes there are misunderstandings, arguments, and fights. It’s ok, as I don’t believe in just milk and honey.
As long as you communicate and try to fix the issue, there will always be a way.

#9 COMMUNICATION
Speaking about communication … how else can you solve any of the above if there is no dialogue. And if this open conversation is missing, if the other part behaves like a wall or has a big ego, well, there is nothing but a red flag.

#10 LOYALTY
Flirting with my boyfriend, hitting on the guy I like, making plans with my other friends that you met through me without mentioning anything, or just going behind my back with anything, these are just one step away from a breakup.
Loyalty equals honesty, and these two are the core of a true, long-lasting friendship.

I had “friends” that only used me because I had something to give, and when I didn’t, they left like I was a broken shoe.
I had girlfriends that left because they found a man and thought they didn’t need anyone else.
I had friends with a big ego and poor communication skills when we hit an argument because they were not capable of having a conversation, didn’t care, or their ego was too big.
I had friends who were bothered about something, and instead of picking up the phone and talking to me like mature adults do, they choose not to speak with me anymore.

Do I care? I do. But I learned to move on very fast as who goes out of your life leaves room for other people to come in. Perhaps better ones.

Am I perfect? Not by far. Are my friends perfect? Not a chance.
Accepting flaws and compromise is also part of the whole deal.

But one thing’s for sure: as understanding as I am with many things, I will never tolerate disrespect and betrayal.

What is it that you can’t accept from any of your girlfriends? I would love to read your comments.

The Secret Ingredient That Can Make A Mixed Relationship

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The Secret Ingredient That Can Make A Mixed Relationship Work

When two different worlds meet

April 8, 2022

Can two people of different nationalities come from two different cultures and backgrounds and have a successful partnership?

Well, when two worlds meet, there is one primary secret ingredient that will make a mixed relationship work. 

If I wasn’t living in the Middle East, I might not be interested in the subject that much. However, for the last 15 years, I was always surrounded by Arabs and bonded with them well. Both men and women. And I found their culture and traditions fascinating. 

They are very cool, fun, kind, and open people. 

Even when I was living in Germany and traveling for my work, half of the people I was hanging out with were from the UAE or France. And as you might know, France has a large population of Muslims, mainly from Morocco, Algeria, and Tunis.

The UAE, and Dubai in particular, is a tolerant melting pot with a mix of around 200 nationalities. And we are all coexisting here together and living in peace. 

Therefore being in a relationship or marrying someone with a different religion is a high possibility. 

It is also well-known that Arabs like women from other nationalities, especially from the East of Europe, and Christian women find Arab men very datable and marriage material. 

They are handsome, have a good sense of humor, know how to treat women, and have strong personalities. 

But how is it to date and get into a serious partnership with someone from another culture? What changes? And how?

I know for a fact and from my own experience that you will have to meet halfway and compromise, especially since some Muslims can be more conservative. Or Christians not being very tolerant and understanding. 

Any relationship can be challenging, and it means compromise and hard work. But from what I have been through and seen in the Middle East, a mixed relationship takes a little more than that. 

Most Muslim men will come with childhood luggage where they were taught in their households that drinking, partying, and having sex before marriage is a capital sin. (haram)

Of course, many of them end up living a very open life (nothing wrong with that), but the expectations and requirements change when it comes to their girlfriends, fiancees, or wives. 

On the other hand, a Westerner woman is being taught by her parents to be independent, get a diploma and a job, and live her life on her terms. 

When these two worlds meet, the hardship starts because both sides will bring in the relationship what they learned at home, their adult values, and cultural behaviors. 

Either way, both sides should make an effort to understand each other’s cultures and religions and learn to live with one.

And one important aspect. Forcing the other person to do things they don’t want to do just because they have to understand, accept and embrace your culture – no matter what – Is WRONG!

The only and only way to make it work is to meet halfway.

Besides all the other things you have to do in a partnership to keep the engines running. 

From my experience and other mixed couples that I saw around me, I can tell you that it is possible. Very possible.

I dated Muslims and Christian Arabs before living in Dubai, and since I am here in the Middle East, I mainly had relationships with Arabs (Muslims and Non-Muslims).

Most of them were ok, but I also had my share of experiences worth telling.
For Example, I Dated An Egyptian Guy A Few Years Back, And I Dealt With The Following. 

  1. He was 29 and a virgin until one year before meeting me. We had sex three times in 4 months, and every time after, he said he would burn in hell because he was not supposed to do that before marriage. Like it’s haram. 
  2. He was not drinking alcohol (no problem with that), and he said that if we lived together and his parents came, seeing the alcohol in the house would be a big issue for him. 
  3. He told me that he couldn’t understand how I could enjoy a glass of wine with my food. 

My Reaction To Those Three 

  1. I almost accepted the lack of sex for those four months of a relationship. I wanted so bad to be with him that I brainwashed myself to think that sex is not that important and we can have enough if we get married. As soon as we broke up, I looked in the mirror and asked, “Are you stupid”???
  2. I told him if his parents were coming by (they live in Egypt), I would hide the alcohol out of respect but otherwise, no way. My friends drink it, and if they come over, I can’t give them tea. They would laugh in my face. Plus, his parents or no one else will make rules in my house. Period.
  3. I told him he didn’t have to because I was not questioning him or trying to understand that he was praying five times a day or going on Friday at the mosque. And by the way, I respected that. 

Another one had an issue with what I am wearing (and I am talking about casual attire I would wear in a mall, duh!). A Jordanian guy already had three wives, and he considered me to qualify as the 4th one. By the way having four wives is quite an old practice in our century, so most Arabs choose not to have so many beloved ones nowadays. 

The point is that it is all about compromise and understanding the other person. For me, it’s clear. If I am forced to obey some men’s rules because he was raised in a certain way or because his mommy, daddy, or friends would think that my western culture is inappropriate, I am out. 

It’s not a dictatorship; it’s a partnership. And we have to meet in the middle. This secret ingredient will make any relationship work and a mixed one too. 

Have you ever been in a mixed relationship? Any challenges you faced? Please drop me a comment. I would love to read about your experience.